"Ladies and Gentlemen! Step right up and prepare to be amazed! It's HERE! It's REAL!"

G   "Behold, the first in the Calamari Press Roundtrip Series..."   G 


Spiritual Turkey Beggar Baste Mechanism

Screenplay for Kung Fu Opera

by Sandy Baldwin

Trapezoidal Juggernaut

Circus Script for Mestizo Child Abduction

by Derek White

ISBN 0-9746053-2-8

24 pages (12 each way); saddle-stapled; 

28 lb. paper; 110 lb. cover stock; illustrated. 

Both under the same cover for


[out of print]

> dbook (PDF) of Spiritual Turkey Beggar Baste Mechanism <

> dbook (PDF) of Trapezoidal Juggernaut <

"Marvel as the Legless Collider does furious battle with Mrs. Shark's Snort, Jo-Jo the Dog-faced boy, the ever-elusive ho-hum imps and the rest of the cast of oddities and freaks in Spiritual Turkey Beggar Baste Mechanism! Complete with twelve, YES, count 'em, TWELVE fight scenes! ALL occuring in infinite suspension! Behold the ethereal and mysterious tensile-strength of the utility foglets and God-like Gummy Lake that is sure to leave your head spinning! You'll be pinching yourself for days afterwards and have an unexplicable craving for pineapple!"

"Witness firsthand the circus ring symmetry of Trapezoidal Juggernaut, like i-spin conservation [sic] making fortuitous predictions about decay rates amongst father-son interactions! Prepare to be amazed as a gauge-invariant physicist and noble trapeze artists duke it out, blurring the boundaries between what's ALIVE and what's REAL! An adventure spanning the Hindu Koosh to Fermilab, culminating in a random gun battle with Mexican federales in an El Paso Circus! Not without its fair share of innocent bystanders! " 

What some of the ACTUAL characters within the stories are saying:

"Nebulously recombining in its rides through reeling universes on hateful original form a comet's tail, and of hysterical."


" ... jarring, discordant impulses; Dissonance."

--Faydeev Popov

This is the only book where upside- down is right-side- up! 

READ each piece in the time it takes to go from Manhattan to Coney Island. 

FLIP it over and read the other piece on your return trip! 

Get both for the low, low price of $3! That's cheaper than the subway fare roundtrip!

It slices, it dices, it removes unwanted facial hair, its catalogued in the Sackner Archive!

That's right, support REAL LIVE writers in their tormented efforts to write freakish stories for your amusement!

Last chance! Two for the price of one! Get Spiritual Turkey Beggar Baste Mechanism and Trapezoidal Juggernaut for $3...


possibly a copy left at